2.23.09

I am over the top sick of people, people at my school especially. "I don't care" "This is stupid why do we have to do this" SHUT UP!! The kids at my school don't give a shit about anything, but how to have a good time. Seriously, it's soooo annoying. If it's not fun or something I want to do, why do it? Because it will help you later out in life to have the things you want duhh. You want to know why we're in a freaking economic slump right now!? Because people want nice things, buttttt they don't want to work for them. So they get loans (OMG free money!!!!11@!!@!# I'll be rich by the time it's time to pay it off!!) and buy nice things with that money, then pay-up-day comes and ahw crapola my money's all gone, maybe I should have worked harder... Maybe its the mild compulsive money crazy lady in me but how can this happen?! You should always plan for the worst, in my opinion. Kids at my school need to realize the relationship between work and money. I may be a Democrat who believes in eliminating classes, and everyone should have the same opportunities, blah blah blah but I'm sick of people not taking the opportunities they are given. Do you know how wonderful this nation could be if we applied ourselves? We would be a big power again. Seriously. The government puts lots of money into education, but in all honesty they're waisting their money on some kids who don't care and you can't make them care. It's so frustrating. I can't wait to get to college, where [most] people actually care about their education and are there to learn (but have fun too!) Ruuuuuuuuh. 

2.12.09

I have a lot of close friends, friends that I see at school, we'll do small things after school, go to clubs together, etc. But I don't have anyone I can really confide in. And I want someone that I can talk to about all the serious stuff. Everybody has a best friend growing up right? Except me, right? I know I sound whiny and immature but it's really hard. All my friends that I get close to end up ditching me, and I really can't figure out why except for the fact that they find someone they like more. And after that's happened so many times I'm afraid to let anyone be my best friend. I just feel like I'll always be the girl you know and love, but not one you're going to have a serious relationship with. :( Please tell me it gets better.

2.11.09

Today was marvelous. I'm too lazy to tell you what happened all over again so I shall quote what I've written somebody somewhere else. 

I'm a HUGE klutz/forgetful too. Ok you want to hear what I did today.  It's reallllllllly bad, but oh well. My mom gave me a check for lunch money this morning. So I take it to my first hour class, orchestra, because I can drop it off after it because the drop box for the money is close to it. So I set it on my stand (which I share with this girl Emily) And she goes "ooh what's this! It's mine now! (don't worry we are friends ) And I go "No it's not, not anymore" and I shove the check down my shirt.  So then after class I'm going to put it in the drop box and it's not there! We (my friends Amy and Erin) search high and low for it. I search in my shirt, yes. And we cannot find it. So yadayada the day goes on I just plan on telling my mom that I lost it (not the specifics. ) and we're in Invents. (I sit right next to Amy) and I'm scratching my back and I feel something weird. IT'S MY CHECK! It was in my bra strap on the back  We laughed for a few minutes. Ok hope that didn't totally make me seem like the dumbest person ever. It was a totally me moment though.

Gosh I'm awesome right? Hah, I know no need to tell me twice. Today at church they were talking about what we believe in, right? Then they tell me that God spits out "luke-warm Chirstians" which is basically someone who only believes when it's conveient. I don't think that's me, but I'm not sure. I know that I believe that Jesus is God's son and all the basics and I believe that God has a plan for me and you know most of the spiritual aspects of it. It's the other things that stray me the more "abstract things" That they don't plain come and say "OMG this is bad". Like abortion or homosexuality. Those are stuff that I have my own opinion on, that differs a bit from what I think God is telling me is wrong. But I mean I can't just beleive in something because God tells me to, right? I think that would be wrong. I have to make my own opinons. And if that means I'm going to hell, that upsets me, but I don't think that's changing my opinions. I guess I'm just that way. Opinionated. Hah. Whatever maybe there's a special Heaven for us Democratic Christians, I'll see you there Barack! 

2.4.09

Lately I've been feeling distant. From everything. Especially my friends. Well most of them. I'm bored with their moral immaturity at most times. And other times I feel out of place. I'm good at the casual friendship deal. I'm good at it, but I don't like it, isn't that the irony of life? I want a best friend. Amelia's the closest thing I have to one... but she's already got a best friend (damn you Mara). Is it bad that I want that friendship to fall apart? Yeah it is and I would feel really bad, not that I've done anything to sabatoge it. Seriously. I want a new, awesome girl to move here, is that too much to ask for? Yeah I thought so too. I just can't wait to get out of this small town on to bigger things. But then when I get there I know I'll be wishing that I could go back, again with the irony. Always wanting to be somewhere else. I'm trying to enjoy it though, but I can't help but think about how college is so much better (according to EVERYONE!) Haha, and then I can get away from all the damn kids that "don't care about school" and have to ruin it for everyone else. Buttttttt that's another blog post.

Ohh and this song has been stuck in my head forever, which means all day today.